It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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