In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
