sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
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