id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
