Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
