If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
