margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
