sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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