he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Randomize
