Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
