what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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