My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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