we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
