You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
