I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
