I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
