Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
bring money and cleavage
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Randomize
