so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
