apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
