I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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