so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
