Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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