apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
