not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
you had me at cake vodka
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
