Just cropdusted the office
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
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