We won't sleep together?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
