I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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