I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
