We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
