He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
