Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
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