wat bout pragnant strippers??
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
