I am puke
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Randomize
