New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Randomize
