When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
