and next time when you feel me up, do it right
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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