you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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