You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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