Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
