I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
being pregnant is like rehab
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
