Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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