We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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