I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
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