dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
