I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
