I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
