So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
