bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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