K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
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