eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
